In Which A Man with No Sewing Experience* Decides to Personally Make Stuffed Animals for Our Paid Subscribers
*Past Experience: 8th Grade Home Ec (sewed a pillow, towel, and boxers); Sewed three Halloween costumes.
In case you missed it, this month, DiPerri is dusting off Frega’s sewing machine to make Buddy plush toys for paid subscribers.
“How’s it going so far?” you ask? Well.
I texted this photo (sans caption) to my sister and Frega at 1:30 am last week.
In fairness, those are just the unstitched individual piece cuts all placed on the floor.
My mom used to sew. Beautifully, in fact. I’ve learned that this doesn’t necessarily translate through genetics. [On opening night of Miss Wallace Rhymes With William in 2012, the guy playing William agreed to my spontaneous request to cut his hair before the show. I gleefully responded “My grandfather was a barber!” as if that in anyway qualified me to cut hair. It came out pretty good! ]
Here are just a few of my unedited false starts and mistakes from Tuesday August 20th into Wednesday the 21st. Also, hooray for being the first “all day” prep for this Substack (making the comics years ago doesn’t count because Substack didn’t exist yet).
I merrily began the process by making a leg and a boot…
The first sign of trouble came when I tried to flip the boot/leg inside out. As you’ll be able to see from the disastrous stitching, there were also some bobbin and machine threading and setting issues that would plague me for the entire day.
When I showed Frega my progress at around 1:00 in the afternoon, she offered a pitying yet loving “Wow…okay…“ Undeterred, I optimistically returned to work, determined to improve and enjoy the process.
A couple hours later, I hit rock bottom. This stuffed toy was a disaster. I don’t think I got this on video but at one point, I said aloud to Frega “Maybe if I just sit here patiently and raise my hand, the doorbell will ring and it’ll be my old home ec[onomics]. teacher here to help me.”
End of Tuesday night.
Wednesday morning.
What a difference a day makes. Also YouTube troubleshooting videos and tracking down the owner’s manual online. Now we’re on to something! Last chance to order. Don’t miss out.
If you want to finally bring Buddy home with you (who wouldn’t?!), upgrade to a paid subscription from now until August 31st at 11:59 pm EST. Due to the shocking number of hours required to make just one doll, this offer now ends August 21st at 11:59 pm EST.
This will effectively place your order (existing paid subscribers will all receive a handmade Buddy doll). In addition to the Buddy doll, as a paid subscriber, you’ll also get weekly newsletter bonuses including exclusive comics, commentaries, and behind the scenes features/insights.
This limited time offer ends August 21st at 11:59 pm. Don’t miss your only chance ever to take Buddy home for a snuggle. After this initial production run, these dolls will never be made again. Ever. ** Limit one Buddy doll per paid subscriber.
Last week, Buddy took the stand to testify under oath in the dramatic courtroom trial that will determine Romeo’s fate! The hearings enter a second week behind the paywall.
“All rise…”